Wednesday, January 04, 2012

"I'll not be doubted by a ginger hair boy and his irritating dog! Give me those oars! Oh, look at them, fast asleep. Typical Land Lubbers."

 I've been discouraged for the last few months. I guess it happens to all authors, especially when they first set out to find agents and either get no answers or just get rejections. I am certain there is a time in their lives when they have sat back and asked, "Why in the world am I doing this?! I'm just some unknown person living in an apartment eating Raman Noddles because I cannot afford real food. What am I, crazy?"

 Thankfully I am still at home so I don't have to eat nothing but noddles, not yet anyways. Still, this is one of those points where I am questioning myself. Me? I mean, how many people in the world know of my existence? How many people in my home town have heard my name? I'm just the girl who goes stalking about Walmart, spying on people in the hopes one of them will turn out to be a foreign spy. So far it is a safe hobby, I've not yet jumped anyone with a German accent. Yet.

 Yet, every time I tell myself I should give up and get one of those, "real" jobs, I get a slap in the face. "What?!" something seems to yell. "You're going to give up just like that? All your hard work, you will just jump out of it? What about your characters?! And what else would you find to do that is as much fun as this?"

 The truth is, I LOVE writing. Every bit of it. Sure, editing throws me, but I don't mind editing. I don't hate it, not like, say, Math. Math is evil. When I take over the world I am banning it to a Black Hole. But, I really don't think I can quit writing, I've never been able to quit. Since I was 13 I tried to run from it and it pulled be back. I'm, like a prisoner, captive...well, not too much. Now I am staying of my own free will.

 But there is still the discouragement. Though, part of it now might be because of my illness. Or maybe it is just because things are a bit odd here. My dad has his own business, but he just got a new job. So he is trying to decide if he likes it while my brothers run the business. Which makes for some changes in my family.

 Yet, not all is gloomy. I went to the doctor today, which wasn't fun, but I think I met one of my characters. In one of the series I've written the characters always met overly muscled men I described as "Ex-boxers." The man who drew blood today was one of these. His arms were huge. I wanted to run out the door when he came in with his needles but was worried he'd lay me out flat without really meaning too. To top it all off he had a shaved head and a short beard. Definitely Ex-boxer. At least he was nice. Nice Ex-boxers aren't as scary as mean ones. But I still question a Doctor's need for needles. Isn't there a better way to draw blood from us Needle Phoic people? I'd let them slice a cut in my finger if it meant no needles.

No picture, they are too creepy. 

 I've started writing again, a little at a time. I wrote a chapter in book four yesterday  but was kept too long at the Doctor's and work today to do any. I was always busy hanging glittery, green snow flakes from the grow in the dark stars on my ceiling. They look cool when I plug the Christmas lights in - which are also strung on my ceiling.

 Well, now I think I will go. I just started "The Poison Belt," which is the squeal to "The Lost World." They are fun stories, I especially like Malone though the Professor is a LOT of fun. Besides, it will be fun to do something relaxing after naming my whole Spork collection today. They now have all the names of the Avengers and the Doctor and his companions. The next batch gets Star Wars names. Except for my two Batman Sporks, oh and the Sparticus group. I forgot about them. *Smirk*



1 comment :

  1. Don't give up. :D You'll be a great published author! <3 I believe in you!!!!

    Also, I am sorry you had to go to the doctor's. :-P That's not nice. *hugs* Hope you feel better soon. <3

    ~ Your DLS


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