Friday, April 27, 2012

"If I reached for your hand would your eyes grow wide?"

 This Friday Feature isn't in existence. No one volunteered and I forgot to hunt anyone down. So,  look for one next Friday. Right now I'm on another holiday...sort of. I finished the deleted scene, now all I need to do is get it formatted and downloadable. And while I work on that I need to do some work on my blog. This is proving a challenge to my brain. 

 I've been having one of those days, as people like to term them. You know the sort, right? You wake up, and everything around you seems gray and bleak and you want to go back to bed, or have someone greet you with a warm smile and a cup of tea. I didn't get much done today, and I keep saying it is because I'm on holiday, but I know there is more to it then that. 

 I could easily be a depressed person, except I've something in me that says, "This is dull, let's find something fun to do." Today I'm feeling blue. Like everything I'm attempting is going to flop and leave me sitting on the floor. Then it will laugh at me. 

 "You thought you could market your book, and edit it? You can't even figure out how to work your own blog. Come on, back to earth now like a good child. Go get a bank job where you work from nine to five."

 It's days like these I question my sanity, though why I do is beyond me. Sanity left me ages ago. I suppose all writers, well, anyone who doesn't fit into normal goes through this. This usually hits me after I finish a book. I will rush to tell someone and they will go, "Good job." And I go away feeling kind of defeated. After all that work, enduring ornery characters, I always hope for something more then that. A cookie? 

 But you might wonder why I'm writing this. To depress all of you? Naw, I'm not that kind of evil over lord. I wasn't going to, but, we all have bad days. We all have days were we want someone to say, "Hey, let's curl up in cloaks and watch Doctor Who," well, you might wish for that if you're a geek. We all accomplish something and want someone to yell, "WOHOO! Let's celebrate!" But, something, often, getting things we want doesn't happen. Maybe we even need it, but it doesn't come along. 

 Often during times like these I will slip away alone. I will open a new document, I will title it, and I will write a few lines of a new book while listening to some of my favourite music (Today it is Owl City). But there is more to it then that. There comes that pause where I will have to remind myself why I persist on. 

 God has called me to write. No matter what I face, I can't let myself stray from this task. Often I want to quit. Often I want to sit down and wait for someone to  hug me and help me back up. But that doesn't always come and I remind myself, He is always with me. It is for He I do this, and for the people I believe He wants me to reach. He is the best help for a bad day. 

 Anyhow. Right now I think I will get back to work. Maybe I can even figure out this blog thing. 8-D

 Allons-y!


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1 comment :

  1. *hugs* I'm sorry you had a bad day. I still want to celebrated the ending of your book with you. I want to finish reading it and then watch Doctor Who or something. :D Does that sound lovely?

    ~ Your loving DLS

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