Tuesday, August 21, 2012

"Get that thing out of my face." "It's not in your face, it's in my hand." "Get what is in your hand out of my face."

 This computer has been hacked...though with permission. 

 Because the Great Peter Jones would never hack anything unless he asked first. 

 I'm going to ignore you for the rest of this post, Darcy Steed. 
 As if I care. I have a hundred and one things I could be doing that are far more interesting then watching you pick through a keyboard, looking for the right letters to hit. 

This is how I usually look at Jones. 
For once we agree on something.

 As I was saying, or going to say. My name is Peter Jones, and I'm here to help out my author. You see, she has completely worn herself out. I'm not sure when it happened, or how. I was off, resting after the end of the book and when I came back I found her half asleep and staring blankly at pictures online. 

 Wow, you actually know what online is?!

Watson's baffled look is how I look after Jones says anything.
Are we really going to do this again?

 Therefore, I took her out yesterday to give her a nice, relaxing day. We walked about an old part of town, had a picnic of bread, cheese, olives, berries, and milk. Got peppermint sticks in a chocolate shoppe. Then, we returned to her flat and read and watched cartoons, then went to a movie called Men in Black 3, and then out for milk shakes. 

 Pitiful when the only girl you can impress is your own author. 

Something Jones and Sherlock Holmes have in common. They will never get a girl.
I doubt you will either. No girl could stand you for more then five minutes.
Oooo! Peter Jones has FINALLY come up with a come back! How does it feel?
Maybe I can teach you how to fly, without a Zeppelin or Aeroplane.
Just try it.

 I think it helped, but she is still tired and not fully awake today. Therefore, Tony, Singur, Isidore, and I have decided to finish out her posts for this week, maybe even do some next week. At the end of this, maybe even this week, she will be releasing the Prologue which I know some of you requested. I myself am not looking forward to it...

When girls meet Jones they too pull a pistol on him.
And how would you know this? You've only known me a few weeks.
I know your type. You're the type girls run from, screaming.

 But moving on. As you might have guessed, I'm not really good at writing, in any form or fashion. After all, I'm a soldier, an Aeropilot. I have slightly more interesting things to do then sit in front of this contraption that is called a computer and hammer out words. I'm not even sure what I'm going to say. 

 Real shocker there. 

Jack said I should do this one. Something about Jones and I and an explosion.
Wait...don't tell me you try and blow us up!
You probably blow up the Zeppelin.
Only in an attempt to...wait...did Jack just give away a spoiler?
Maybe she is tired...great, now you have me worried about her.

 I could tell you a bit about myself but Jack asked me not to as she has something special planned before the book comes out. Something like an interview for all of us characters. So, all that said, and since I've taken up most of this post with short ramblings, I will continue with this. 

Do you think this looks like...
No, not evil enough.
Right, this chap is too refined.

 Helpful Hints One Needs To Know If Kidnapped By Air Pirates. 

 That is what I would title a book, were I ever to write one. 

 We didn't kidnap you, Fly Boy! We...

 Now, in case you are wondering what sets an Air Pirate apart from a Sea Pirate the answer is simple. Sea Pirates sail on ships or in submarines. 

 No....seriously?!

This looks more like him.
Yes. Makes my skin crawl.

 Whereas Air Pirates fly in contraptions known as Zeppelins. (And, I must admit, these Zeppelins are amazing. I believe Jack's friend, Clair, is making pictures for the book, so you will be able to see it. But, I will explain it for you real fast.)

Don't tell me you're going to make another girl remark.
No. I was actually thinking about Tony.
...
I'm going to tell him you were laughing.
DON'T YOU DARE!

The body of it was rounded at the back and pointed at the front. There was a large propeller at the back, but one that was not so big it would chop the balloon to pieces when it was on. A large window gleamed at the front of the Zeppelin, smaller windows running along the side. Metal ladders rose up over the balloon, reaching to a narrow metal deck which was over it, the whole thing looked like a metal cage wrapped around the balloon. 

 I stole this from the book. 

 See, you have the makings of an Air Pirate in you already!

Look. It's your brother's coat.
No. It isn't black, or dramatic enough.
Good point...

 It is an unedited description but it very close. Zeppelins are silent, they can glide through the air without a sound and are always hidden under their own, man made cloud cover. This is how they are able to float into towns and cities, allowing the Air Pirates to sneak into houses and take whatever they fancy. 

One remark and I'm punching you in the nose.
Temper, temper.

 One of my jobs as Aeropilot was to hunt down and stop Air Pirates. But, well, things didn't go as planned. But enough of that for now. 

 Because you don't wish them to know you joined us. 

 The first thing you most know about Air Pirates is they are temperamental. It is probably a requirement and if one doesn't have a violent temper they cannot become an Air Pirate. 

 If that's the case then you are one of the best. 

Who are these two?
Another Sherlock and Watson.
How many are there?!
About...a hundred. The fellow is probably the most well known man in history.
What did he do?
Smoked a pipe...tormented his best friend.
If one of us started smoking a pipe maybe we could be famous.
We're not best friends.

 Another thing you must know is that they are complete know-it-alls. 

 Well, you fail there. 

 Never get into an argument with an Air Pirate, it usually ends with a sword in your heart, getting your head removed, or them seeing if you can fly. (I've heard before this is Steed's favourite way to deal with people he dislikes. Throwing them from the Zeppelin in midair.)

I wouldn't mind glasses like this.

 The best advice I can give is to avoid them as much as possible. Sometimes, even if you are very careful, you still run into them though. This can be dangerous, especially if they are in a bad mood - and they usually are. In this case, the best you can do is deck them, and then find somewhere to hide. I've learned that if you want to know where the best hiding places are you need to ask Kirk. 

This is just odd.
For once we agree on something.
You already said that.
Oh...right.

 He should know. He's had lots of practice. And we aren't always in bad moods!!

 And lastly. If you find yourself on Shamus Steed's Zeppelin...

 CAPTAIN SHAMUS STEED!!!

 If you hear him yelling in French...it is time to write your will. 

 TU ES MORT!!!!!!!!!!!!

If I had a cane I would be tempted to hit you with it.
How come whenever I write on here YOU pick all the pictures?
I'm cleverer then you.
But you've been comparing me to Sherlock Holmes this whole time.
Shut up.

 Okay, time for me to hide. BYE!

 Imbecile. 

Jack owns this movie.
Shall we?
Eh, why not. I have nothing better to do today.

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7 comments :

  1. Love this quote and these pics. That "disguise" of Holmes was HILARIOUS. :-)

    Fun post. :-)

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  2. Fantastic! Made my day ever more interesting.

    What scene is the quote from? It's been bugging me for days...

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  3. I can see you took the time to create very vivid characters, which are the best characters! I am definately getting more and more excited to read the novel(s) when it/they come out!

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  4. Haha! Loooved this post. Nice meeting Peter Jones so *formally*. Tho I don't think that's the right word somehow... :D The banter between you two is AMAZING! In stitches the whole time. And (of course) naturally loved all the pictures...truly my favourite movie. ever. :)

    PS Kind of funny when you said "mime" instead of "cait" in your answer back to us on our blog! I had to laugh!! :) You're so awesome. :P

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  5. Hey Peter and Steed, tell Jack she is very kind to let you guys take over her computer. It's fun to see (read?) you bicker. :P

    And it's a very good thing that Peter took Miss Jack out to get milkshakes. Milkshakes make the world a better place. Some author/character time. =)

    And I love the Sherlock Holmes pictures as well. Sherlock Holmes rocks.

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  6. I love, love, LOVE the character posts. I always laugh forever. And the Peter and Darcy ones are always the best, hands down.

    And the pictures are hilarious, too, especially with both of them commenting on them.
    :D

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