Saturday, September 21, 2013

"My name is Indigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die."

 I've been trying to figure out how to write this for about a week or more, everything has become a blur since I began school. Someone remind me why I signed up in the first place? I'm not sure if I can put it into words because I am still in shock over it. But, I am going to attempt it. (Didn't that sound like a grand opening?)

 The other day a fellow called me from the site I bought my dominion name from. He wanted to make sure it was working for me and see if I had any questions. When he asked me what I was planning on using it for I calmly told him it was for my books, to help promote them. That got him curious and he asked a little more. I told him I was an author.
 It wasn't until after I had gotten off the phone and thought back on the conversation that it sank in what I had said. Without any hesitation, I had been able to declare, out loud to someone, that I am an author.

 Sure, I've written more than 20 books, I've published two, I have people reading them, but I've still not been able to think of myself as a real author. I felt like something was missing, probably because I don't think I'm that good of an author. I know I still make mistakes, my plots aren't new and exciting - if anything they are re-used plots. I don't think there is one plot I have that I've come up with on my own. (Usually I get ideas from reading books and watching movies.)

 So, to be able to tell someone I am an author, without any hesitation, is kind of a big deal for me. For the rest of that day I tried to figure out what had lead me to saying it. What had changed that enabled me to tell a complete stranger something like that?

 I've not done anything spectacular in the last few days to bring it on. I'm still the quiet girl from a little town not too many people care about. I go to work, to school, and come home to lock myself in my room and edit and do homework. I don't even have any friends in town I can call up and ask if they'd like to go for a walk with me.
 When I was younger I thought authors had to be so famous they couldn't go out onto the streets without mobs of people surrounding them and asking for spoilers. I don't think anyone even notices me when I leave work, let alone pay any attention to me when I walk through town. I'm not getting mobbed. I'm not getting a zillion comments on my blog a day with adoring fans talking to each other and trying to guess what is going to happen next in my books.

 Very often I feel like Donna, "I'm no one special." And Peter from Narnia. "I'm from Fenchley!"
 I'm just me. I'm the Geek who quotes movies at random times. I'm probably the only one at work who watches more British TV shows than American, and who prefers old Classic shows to a lot of the popular ones out now. I'm likely the only one at school who watches My Little Pony, Friendship is Magic. (And yes, I totally just admitted to that.)
 I'm so nervous around people that whenever they talk to me I have a panic attack because I don't know what to say back. (This gets interesting at work sometimes, I stammer a lot.) I'm the one who is never seen without a book. The school nerd who is always studying.
 Me, an author? No, surely not.

 But, why was I able to call myself an author then, when he asked what I was doing?

 I've finally figured it out. It is all of you. Every one of you who reads my blog. Who comments. Who bombards me with emails. Who "ships" my characters. Who reads my books. All of my beta readers who have taken the time to pick my book apart and has helped me find what needs change while taking the time to tell me what they love about it.

 Without all of you, I wouldn't be an author. I would still be scribbling book scraps in file documents which would never see the light of day. All of you are the reason I've been in my room editing for the last month, missing out on the social life I don't have while listening to the My Little Pony soundtrack. (And yes, I admitted to that one too.) (And no, I am not complaining about my lack of social life or the editing.)

 And, to top it all off, I don't think there is a better bunch of readers in the world. All of you are fantastic and I'm pleased to be able to be your author.

 So, I wanted to take a moment to thank all of you. Without you I wouldn't be able to declare myself an author. Thank you for reading my books. For reviewing them. For reading my blog. For putting up with my quirkiness and enduring my random, oddness. Thank you for your comments and emails and for being my readers.

 You all deserve cookies. Which I shall shower upon you because you're all brilliant.

 *Now that Jack has spread some sap she is going to vanish to watch something on the creepy side because she has run out of sap.*

 Quote is from The Princess Bride because one cannot go far in life without shouting that out in their best attempt at a Spanish accent.

 Allons-y! 

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14 comments :

  1. whoa now Lewis, don't get too sobby on us here... ;p

    I'm glad that you've realized that being an introvert is okay. You don't have to follow the crowd. You don't need to know what's "cool" and "in" right now. You just gotta be the greatest you ever.

    ---Oh, but I strongly encourage to talk to new people every once in a while. Especially if it scares you. You'll learn things. And being scared is good sometimes. There are some amazing words, sounds, places, and people to find in this big wide world. Don't miss out.

    Love ya,
    K-Minty

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  2. I almost considered not commenting because I finished beta reading Abolished Impracticality and I don't know what to think about you after that ending... But then I realized that overall, you are my friend. And however evil your book ending might be... You are and always shall be my friend. *holds hand up in Vulcan salute*
    That's so cool that you could call yourself an author! I can imagine how hard it was. But, after all, why not say it? It's true! You are an author. And, my friend, as a very wise man said, "There is nothing new under the sun." And while there may be nothing new under the sun, your books are unique. No other book in the entire world has a pilot, a scientist, a detective, a mechanic, a girl from the street, and a Doberman, a band of Air Pirates, the Queen, and an old Captain in one book all at the same time! And who doesn't steal ideas once in awhile? They say that to write, writers must read. Therefore, we will get ideas from what we read. Something someone says will spark an idea, that will grow and grow into something huge and then the next thing you know, you're hitting publish, or sending your book off to a publisher. And maybe you get mobbed in the street, or maybe your book is an utter failure - except to that one little girl whose aunt bought her your book in an old second hand shop. It becomes her favorite, and she tells her friends, and then they read it for bookclub, and then suddenly someone comes asking for movie rights.
    Now will you hurry up and start working on Book Three so I can find out what happen- I mean, so I can start picking it apart? ;)

    Well rats, now I want to go read The Princess Bride for the third time in a year. And I can't do that because I made a pact with myself not to start any more books until I finish The Return of the King.
    ...I'm off to read!
    Enjoy your creepy movie, Author Jack. =)

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  3. Jack ~ Of course you're and author! Even if you never published anything at all, you'd still be an author. You might not consider yourself a good writer yet, but good writing (like most skills) is a matter of practice, as well as talent. And you write all the time, so you are well on your way to becoming a good writer. Furthermore, you write stories on their own terms, and don't force them into neat, easily-labled genres, which is, in itself, a good thing/ (Says the librarian :-)

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  4. You are so cool, Jack. Haha, that's the first thought that came into my head as I finished reading this, and I just wanted to say so. Of course, anyone who can quote the Princess Bride is cool in my book. And how cool that you can call yourself an author! That must be a pretty awesome word to roll around on your tongue.

    ~Vicki
    decked out in ruffles

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  5. Yay for JACK!!! You ARE awesome! Being an author is tough and gets misunderstood soooo much. I never say "I'm an author" when people ask either. It just never exits my mouth for some reason. *shrug* But all the same, we ARE legit at being authors (you more then me of course :P)!! GO YOU.

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  6. Of course you are an author my dear. We love you! Keep being awesome!

    And I'll let in on a little secret: none of us get our plots fresh either.

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  7. I've recently started introducing myself as an author... and, you're right, it is WEIRD (and sometimes nerve-wracking, terrifying, and very difficult). I'm not sure why this is... and I wonder if it's the same for other professions? I don't think my husband struggles with whether or not to introduce himself as a "mechanical engineer," and I never had to struggle to make myself say, "I'm an English teacher," or "I'm a Mom," but maybe it's because saying, "I'm an author" out loud feels presumptuous, somehow... who knows?

    I am really enjoying Haphazardly Implausible - and I am in awe of your multiple plot-lines. :)

    (by the by... it's "Inigo" Montoya) Yes, I'm a nerd, and yes, I'm an English teacher.... LOL

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  8. I like cookies!
    Of course you are an author. Just because there aren't millions of fans lining up at your door doesn't make you any less of one. Glad you stood up and proclaimed it!

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  9. All you have to do is publish a story to be an author. Do well at collage, and as my BFF keeps reminding me. "don't sweat it, just be yourself." Mom keeps telling me "If you have the entire world liking you, you are doing something wrong."

    Thanks for the cookies ;D

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  10. You are very welcome, dear Jack! :)

    ~Robyn Hoode

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  11. Oh, Jack, you are a wonderful person! I wish I could hug you from where I am right now, but since that's impossible, merely telling you about it in a comment will have to suffice.

    You're wonderful for many different reasons that have nothing to do with your authorship, but of course you're just THAT MUCH COOLER because you ARE an author.

    (oh my gosh, I just remembered that I wrote you a fanfiction!!! how did I forget that??? see, you really ARE an author! lololol forever)

    You know how a lot of authors try to be all *professional* and *intellectual* and stuff? I love how you're like, "Nah. I'd rather talk about BBC shows. Or quote movies I like. Or sew costumes for myself." You're so much more approachable than those writers who sort of cordon themselves off with ~authors bios~ and ~agents~ and ~editors~ and ~if you'd like to contact me, you can be screened by these security agents and solve this code and go through an obstacle course and get a reply if you're lucky since i'm *so* busy~. You're just always so friendly and easy to talk to and relatable. Even if you don't feel like that when you're face-to-face with someone, you have such a great presence on the internet as someone encouraging and fun. It's like you don't even have to try! :)

    Whether you get mobbed by fans or not, you're a GREAT author! And if you want me to, I'll mob you. And that will prove it.

    Love you! *sparkles shimmer from the sky because the whole world is beautiful and friendship IS magic*

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  12. You are the best Author in all the world :) You are the nicest writer ever. You respond to fan mail. You appreciate when someone says 'ship' even if you don't get shipping. (I'm a fangirl, so its just a thing with me.) Just because mobs aren't like "LET ME LOVE YOU!!" It doesn't mean you aren't brilliant. Jack Lewis Baillot you are the most important women in the whole of creation :-) LAME. Time stop being weird. Anyway, just know I am affectionate fan who adores your books and love your characters and can't wait for the next one. :D :D :D

    I don't listen to pony music, maybe I should start to? Is that a thing? time to listen to ponys! Tromp tromp, trip trip tromp!

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  13. You have TWENTY unpublished works!!!!!! Jack, you're an author, through and through. I may have four books published (if you count the short story collection), but I only have two unpublished books that have reached the words "the end."

    But our readers are some of the nicest pets - I mean people, aren't they Jack? I don't know where we'd be if it weren't for them. Maybe selling apples ...

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