Sunday, December 15, 2013

"What's he got that I haven't got?" "A hobby." "Archaeology, knitting?" "Breaking doors."

 In Which Jack had her heart nearly ripped out. (More commonly known as her movie review of The Hobbit, The Desolation of Smaug.)

 Yes, I saw it. And yes, I am going to spend a whole post talking about it, because I liked it that much.

 I'm going to try and keep this a spoiler free post. And a negative free one. I'm sure there were plenty who have issues with it not being like the book, so you can probably find a post which will go into detail. Me, I shall continue to love both movie and book. There was one thing I wasn't crazy about which I might talk about, but maybe will save it for another post. we go, everything I loved about The Hobbit.

 BILBO! Peter Jackson is the most brilliant man alive, casting Martin Freeman as Bilbo. I thought he was great in the first one, whining and complaining and doubting himself and making wonderful expressions. But in this one he was even better. He was so much braver, so much more ready to do everything he could to save his friends. The man is a fantastic actor. 

 KILI AND FILI!!! Yes, both are very dashing. No, I am not the LOTR geek who goes for the dashing men. What I love about Fili and Kili is the brother part of their story Jackson brings out. And one part, near the end, it had me silently cheering and not silently jumping around in my seat. I had my friend very worried I think. But it was brilliant and I loved it and it gave me hope - for about five seconds - that Peter Jackson would let them live. Because I don't think I'd mind if he changes that part of the book and let's them live. And then that hope was crushed....(THAT WASN'T A SPOILER!)

 Gandalf. I shall forever always love Gandalf. Everyone should love Gandalf. I want my own Gandalf friend. Someone wise and grumpy and who believes even the smallest person can change history.

 Thorn. I wasn't too crazy about him in the book, not till the end. But I read it a few years ago and didn't really know the stories too well or get what was going on. I mean to re-read it this summer to see if I can grasp more of his character. But I am very fond of him in the movies, which makes me think I just misunderstood him in the book.

 Smaug. Because, seriously, who can not but love Sherlock as a dragon?

 Smaug's voice. Smaug's voice on the Imax screen. Sherlock's Smaug voice so deep and rumbly that you feared for Bilbo's life because there was a chance Sherlock's Smaug voice would crack the mountain and drop it on Bilbo's head.

 Legolas. Yeah, I know. Legolas. So many mixed emotions about him from so many people. But the part where Golin shows him a picture of Gimili. There are no words for how much I loved that part.

 BATTLES! Battles with Smaug! Running from Smaug! Everything with Smaug! But the battles....I do like Middle Earth battles.

 Thornton as Thorn.



 Legolas' creepy dad.....which I didn't love him, but one has to admire an elf who can pull off creepy.

 BARD!!!!!!!!!!!! Even when I got lost in the book, the moment I got to Bard I loved him. I was panicked that he was going to die and I feared for his life till I got to the end, after which I loved him even more. When I found out Bard was in this movie I went into such a deep state of fangirling I worried my family. I shamelessly love and forever shall love Bard. And I loved the movie Bard just as much as the book Bard. But I want to know...where on earth did they find a Will Turner look alike?

 Eyebrows....I was told to go and see the movie for the eyebrows. I forgot about them till almost the end....but I paid attention to them then. I decided, no one really seemed to have remarkable eyebrows except for Kili, Legolas, and Bilbo. I don't think Martin Freeman could have pulled off the meeting Smaug scene without his eyebrows. So...I'm all for eyebrows.

 The Bear Man. I am sad, I can never remember his name. But I loved him in the book, and in the movie. I just love him. He's so grumpy but adores his little animal friends. He's just cool.

 What I'm not sure if I liked or not...the girl elf. I will explain that later. I mean, she was cool, just the reason she was there kind of bugs me. But that involves my girl character problem, so as I said, later this week on that.

 What I didn't like...SPIDERS! I saw some of that scene, peeking out from my fingers. But whoever said they would give me the details of what happened during it....I'm waiting. I saw something with Bilbo freeing the dwarves...lots of creepy legs....and that was about it.

 And there, my review. How many of you saw it? What did you think? Did you love Bard? Did you go for the battles, the girl elf, the dashing Middle Earth men, or....hopefully not...the creepy spiders? Or did you go for the eyebrows?

 Sadly....I cannot remember any lines from the movie. I was too busy gawking and giggling and hiding behind my arms to memorize any. So I had to go with an Avengers quote. It is when Mrs. Peel is telling Steed about a fellow she is trying to meet.




  1. I saw it too! But I need a second viewing to really enjoy it because I finished the book the day before the movie came out and was too busy missing scenes/parts from the book... and quoting Star Wars in my head. Whatever part they were at when Thorin was like "We have no hope left!" all I could think was "No, Obi-wan is your only hope." And when Gandalf met Radagast in the Nine Rider's tomb (and almost fell into the chasm), all I could think was "Where are the controls to the bridge?" "I think I just blasted them!"
    The spiders were horrifying. But when Radagast's bird jumped out from his hat, I jumped.
    I didn't mind Tauriel (elf-girl) too much, actually... But I'll have more of an opinion when I go see it again. I did enjoy it overall... but I really wish that they had spent less time on things that P. Jackson added to the story, and more time on the scenes from the actual book. Like Beorn. And Mirkwood.

  2. I haven't seen it yet! But hopefully on Wednesday the weather will good enough so we can go see it with our homeschool group, which will be so fun!

  3. 'That's my wee lass, Gimili.'
    The one line I do remember.
    Thought it was excellent. The scenes with Smaug were breathtaking.
    And Freeman is perfect in the role of Bilbo.

  4. Ooh! Sounds exciting. I'd like to go see it in theaters ... But I'll need someone to take me to the theater.

    On another note, I've finally gotten around to watching the first movie. I'm about half-way through the first disk of the extended version. Wow. Just wow. Even better than LotR.

  5. AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! I LOVED the movie! :) My review shall be coming soon. :)

  6. P.S. The real "important" bit with the spiders is when Bilbo loses the ring (not in the book, of course, but whatev) one of the spiders crawls over it and it almost slips onto the spider creature's foot and Bilbo goes all CUH-RAZY-pants on it and slaughters it, then grabs the ring and says, "MINE!" then he sort of sits down and has this moment of, "What the heck was that all about?" self-introspection (meanwhile you see the dwarves all battling for their lives in some other section of the forest). Anyway more to come on that in my review, but I loved the way the movie showed a parallel between the Ring's hold over Bilbo and the Arkenstone's hold over Thorin and how Bilbo feels/recognizes it and chooses (I'm GUESSING, here - I could be wrong about what I am inferring will be the direction Jackson is planning to go with movie 3) not to give the Arkenstone to Thorin in order to protect him from it.

  7. We saw the movie! and we know the exact quote you should have used in your post title.

    "Dad, why are there dwarves coming out of our toilet? Will they bring us luck?"
    -Bard's youngest daughter

    -Bethany masquerading as Becca

  8. I couldn't watch some of the spider bits either - especially in 3D. Eep!

  9. I loved it too! Mostly. I loved it mostly.

    BILBO MAKES ME LAUGH SO MUCH! I love Bilbo, Martin is perfect in that role. Oh oh oh . That part where Smaug is waking up and he just sits down on the treasure like... "I'm sitting here. You do not see me. I'm invisible. *rests chin on hands*"

    Kili and Fili are my favorite dwarves too. And for the same reasons as you. They're like the Winchesters of Middle Earth. WOOOO. (I'll admit. I find Kili very attractive, but that is not of import. [shame on me for quoting Cas.]) That part though, where Kili has to stay behind, and Fili goes, "My place is with my brother." I was like, "YES! FILI IS MUCH AWESOME!"

    SMAUG. Ungh. Smaug was PERFECT. Benny did such a good job voicing him! I kept imagining him saying the lines and being like, "Sherlock, stahp." lol.

    Okay. I liked Legolas. Honestly, I did. A lot. But for some reason, he made me laugh. Everytime he came into a scene, I couldn't help myself. I was giggling. His eyes looked weird... And I kind of wish they hand done SO much CGI fighting with the elves. Legolas was like a fairy-ninja when he was fighting and that cracked me up too. He just cracked me up a lot.

    I just think Legolas's whole family cracked me up. His dad was so weird! I mean he was a beauteous elf, and all... but what was with the strange head-moving? He'd like, get all close to Thorin and then jut his chin out and whisper something enigmatic, and then woosle backwards and it was excessively diverting. lol.

    BARD WAS SO FREAKING AWESOME! Defo one of my favorite characters. (did you notice that the guy who played the Master of the Town, with the truly impressive comb-over... that was Jeeves from Jeeves and Wooster?)

    Hmm. Thinking back, there were some cool eyebrows. Legolas's dad had some nice ones.

    I'm not sure what to think of Tauriel. I... I.... Liked her as an ELF. I liked her character. But she wasn't necessary. I feel like Peter Jackson just put her in there so that there could be a love interest. ... a love interest with a love triangle. I HATE love triangles. She had the coolest costume ever though. (I remember when I saw her in Real Steel, I was like, "Oh she's pretty. She'd make a beautiful elf." and then I saw the trailer for the Hobbit and was like, "I KNEW she'd make a beautiful elf!"

    Oh the spider scene was dreadful wasn't it!? We went to see it with a friend, and as one, our entire row of girls just shrank into our seats when the spiders came. I think I cracked the person sitting next to me up, because I made a sort of dying whale sound and she snickered. I watched most of it through my fingers too, but I couldn't watch it all. Too many legs in one spot. (But the part where Bilbo hacks apart that one spider and takes the precious back, that made me smile.)

    Over all, I really liked it, but I WISH they hadn't added some of the stuff they added, and I WISH they had made Biblo do the whole, "Lazy lob, crazy lob" part when he's out witting the spiders, because that would have made everything better. :(

    This is way longer than I wanted it to be. I'm sorry. It's like email length. Hee!



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