Thursday, February 27, 2014

Striker

 Wherein Jack has been kidnapped

 This is Striker. I am one of, who Jack calls, the Broken Blade Boys. I'm still not sure what to make of this term, but oh well. I am here because Jack has decided to take a month off of writing and go on what she calls a holiday. She plans on abandoning myself and my fellow, comrades, and going on some adventure of her own. Normally this wouldn't be a problem. She has done so before. However, my comrades and I are in the middle of a not pleasant situation, therefore we have decided to kidnap her.

 I will admit this plan was carried out very rashly. It was mostly brought to fulfillment by Trystan, who said we had to show Jack we were being serious when we threatened her. (I wasn't being serious, but I guess this goes to show one should never doubt the word of an Elf.)
 But now that we've gone through with it and have actually kidnapped her, we don't know what to do with her. It is all good, keeping an Author in her natural habitat, standing behind her with drawn swords, and ordering her to write. But take her out of that....we don't even know what to feed her.

 The only thing we can come up with holding her for ransom. Because that is what one does with kidnap...ees, correct? And, even though it doesn't seem like all of you have joined her minion army, a good many of you seem to have. Therefore, that makes her...I don't know what that makes her, because she is Jack and if one attempts to understand what Jack is one ends up with a headache. But, she is surely something to all of you. (Although, I did see her last cliff hangers so you might not even want her back.) Either way, here are our ransom terms.

 We will be holding a short story ransom. We are characters, so we don't care about all of the technical stuff, though if the stories were about Dragons that would be great because Dragons are...well, Dragons. Who doesn't like Dragons?
 Anyways, they can be any length, but they must be sent in before the 12th of March. (Not a whole lot of time, but she wants to be released before her plane leaves and she said she promised to reveal the second Loyalty title on the 14th.)
 My fellow comrades and I will read the stories and pick a winner. (That's what happens in a short story...thing..right?) We will even have a prize, because I doubt you want us to send Jack to your house as a reward. (Don't worry, if you agree to our ransom terms we will release her. If not, we will just keep her locked up. Either way...)

 Meanwhile, myself and my comrades will be running this...blog. (That is such a stupid name.) We will even be answering your comments, so you can still comment. And we will be trying to remember to feed Jack. But please, all of you other Authors out there...what DO you all eat?! If I'd known keeping an Author was this hard I would have shoved Trystan down a well and left him.

 That is all. Please send all ransom entries to Jack's email. The prize will be announced once we get done fixing things up around here.

 And since we aren't Jack, we aren't going to carry on her tradition of using quotes for titles. Sorry. You can title your comments if you want. We don't care.

 STRIKER

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7 comments :

  1. *hyperventilating*

    Dearest Striker.
    WHAT YOU HAVE YOU DONE TO OUR DEAREST JACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    How to feed Jack, remove her gag, ask her what her favorite meals are, write them down, google how to make them, create them three unique meals daily and you will have not only a happy you but a content Jack--and content prisoners rarely think about running away. And remove the gag, and hand ties so she can eat freely...it' just better that way.

    My characters are beginning to think that you both are brilliant, (I am not sure if I agree....) unfortunately for them, they don't quite know that I am hopping on a plane in like 24 hours. Just yet, they will know the moment the luggage comes out, which shall be shortly.

    I shall do my best to write a short story for you to read, I am terribly busy, but it should be fun, and I'll do my best.

    Be nice to Jack.

    Jessica

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Hmph. How wude."

    Ditto to what Jessica said! Striker, do take care of Jack!! I can't imagine why on earth you felt possessed to kidnap her, and you will NOT be giving my characters any ideas. Got it?

    Short stories, short stories... yes, I think we can work something out. I'll see what I can do.

    And yes, I did use a title for my comment. Well, you said I could, Striker! Don't glare at me like that! It's from The Phantom Menace (Star Wars Episode I).

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh dear. Please feed Jack, if she starves to death you won't have an author anymore and then who will finish your stories?

    I have no idea what Jack eats, but Jessica's idea is good. Stick with that.

    Hmmm, I am intrigued by your ransom demand... I will see if I can come up with an entry for you, since I believe that letting your author go will be more beneficial for you in the long run. We authors need holidays every once in a while, the rest and relaxation help us be more creative!

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  4. You kidnapped Jack!?! WHAT?!?! You can't do that! *Kaycee's characters begin to grin maliciously. Kaycee shivers and glances at them* ...you just can't do that!

    I would follow Jessica's wise instructions when it comes to food and author-care. Hopefully, if you're nice, she won't put you on the chopping block out of spite in her next novel. That would be sad for all involved.

    I don't want Jack to remain kidnapped any more than you do! I'll be sure to assist in the ransom! I hope my characters don't get any ideas from you naughty, naughty fictional beings... *backs away from her grinning characters slowly, using her laptop as a shield*

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  5. Call the police! Call the FBI! Call the fire department! Call in the Avengers! Call Sherlock! Who else can we get? Doctor! We need you!

    "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let Jack go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you."
    Erm, maybe not.

    As for food... You could always find John and Sammy, Jack's writing friends, and ask them to bake cookies and/or pie. John and Sammy might also inspire Jack to write some more of your story and get you out of your predicament.

    ReplyDelete
  6. THIS IS AN ABOMINATION!

    Kidnapping our dear Jack? I just... *sputters* It's utterly despicable. I know you characters *think* you can boss us authors around and control our lives, but don't forget, we're the ones who hold your lives in OUR hands. *hears my characters laughing in my head* Oh hush! See what you've done, Striker? Now my characters are getting ideas. Horrible, horrible ideas. You are such a bad influence. Hmph.

    It's also very inconvenient that you choose for us to give the ransom at this point in time when I'm already working on a short story for a special friend's birthday as well as have a hundred different things to catch up on before I leave town myself for Spring Break. But I can't just not help poor Jack out so...we'll see.

    You better take care of our Jack. *shakes finger* As for food: Cookies. Lots and lots of cookies. And pancakes. Those are good. We writers are also partial to very caffeinated drinks.

    I'm keeping my eye on you, boy.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I just finished one of the short stories that I plan to include in my next collection - the prequel to THE ANKULEN. I can send that in ....

    But do take care of Jack - I believe I've heard her mention that he likes apples, so I think that would probably be a good starting point.

    ReplyDelete

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