Wednesday, March 05, 2014

Steed/ Trystan

 This is late today. Oh well. We've had a bit of trouble in the...ranks....and haven't had time for these...posts.
 This is Steed, by the way. Captain Shamus Steed, Air Pirate, captain of the airship Black Beard. And currently mutiny leader against Jack's pointy eared kidnapper. 

 First, let me make this clear. I am not mutinying because I want to rescue Jack. Sure, I like her well enough, but after some of the things she has done to me I think a bit of kidnapping is good for her. I am mutinying because that pointy eared Elf has no idea how to run something like this. He is clueless, completely clueless...

 Aha! I knew it! You're trying to get them all on your side, aren't you? Think you can get their sympathies by your lies!

 It isn't a lie, and you know it! You almost burned down part of our prison....ahem, I mean snug little room we are keeping Jack in....because you don't know how to use a completely functional oven!

 That was not functional! I told you, none of that would have happened if you had let me cook those chickens over an open fire.

 Just, stick them on a spit and turn them till they stopped clucking, right? You're idea of cooking is just making sure it isn't moving anymore, that isn't cooking! Food is supposed to melt in your mouth and taste delicious.

 Like I've said. Any time you want to take over cooking feel free.

 Jack has ordered you to cook. And that isn't the only problem. You're incredibly bossy.

 We have just kidnapped my Author and you're trying to lead an uprising - yes, I am going to be a little bossy!

 I think it is just because you're a hundred. You think since you're an old man you can do whatever you want.

 I told you a million times, I'm not old! I'm fairly young in fact! 

 How come you're so grumpy then?

 Because I have to put up with you and your sibling! That would make anyone grumpy! Ask that....whatever his name is, the one who works on your airship. The big, burly one. He'd confirm it.

 Tony? Tony doesn't count, he's Russian. Russians are known for being grumpy.

 Really, and you're French, right?

 Right....

 So what is your excuse?

 You know, I think you'd be best friends with Jones.

 I've seen Peter Jones around a lot...he's the short one with the funny ears, isn't he?

 That sums him up very well.

 Well, if he has enough sense not to like you he can't be all bad.

 And there went all of your brilliance. I thought for sure you'd come to your senses and realized at least something clever - like how Jones is very annoying and funny looking.

 You know, how does Darcy feel-

 I think I hear Jack calling you.

 NOT AGAIN!

 *Snicker* Still so sure you don't want to give up command?

 Give me another hour with her and I might consider it.

 Okay, so....I was supposed to let everyone know that with everything going on around here - like Jack still needing the computer for her school work - we won't have a chance to get all the short story ransoms read and a winner picked until after she is back. So we've extended the date to send them in. You can keep sending till the end of March, and when Jack is back she will help us pick a winner and mail out the book.

 And that is all I have. I think I might fly over to France today and pick up some real food, like pastries.

 STEED

6 comments :

  1. Stick them on a spit and cook until they stop clucking - priceless!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Good for you, Steed. I don't know Trystan, but if he can't operate an oven, then you should definitely be in charge.

    :)

    Glad to hear that you're going to let Jack out to go on her holiday.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I'm glad that Jack can do her school. That's pretty important. I have a feeling you'd have some pretty upset professors on your tail if you didn't let her do her homework and go to class.
    ...also, I'm glad I'm not there to experience the interesting cooking. Maybe Steed should take over.
    Steed, I know you don't like Peter much, but if you run into him in the halls, tell him thank you to replying to my comment, and ask him to please relay this message to Jack (I suppose you could do it too, but Peter knows what I'm talking about): Jack, you have got to get a hold of the Jeeves and Wooster stories (there are something like 30 short stories and seven novels). They are hilarious!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Dear me...I'm a wee bit worried about our Jack. She'll be ransomed soon, right?

    And the short story contest is being extended until the end of March? Ooooh. I was literally coming over her to apologize to Jack that I wasn't going to have any time to write one because I'm leaving town for a week come Sunday and I felt awful that I wasn't going to be able to help ransom her. But now... Well, I'll have to see. I might still not have time but...maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Guys, you just made my night. Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  6. What kind of people are you, kidnapping your own arthor? She does her best you know. She's probably just super excited because she's going to see some VERY special friends in less than a week and because of that she is finding it hard to focus. Be nice to her.

    And Steed??? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SIR???? What would Hannah say?? you know what I'm talking about - what you DID. I hope you feel mighty pleased. What kind of brother are you anyway? Don't you know how Darcy feels.....*breathe*

    Is this why I haven't heard from Jack? cause you're keeping her in a dungeon???

    ReplyDelete

Do you want to leave a comment? Come on, it will be fun. I want to get to know you and know why you stopped by my site. Don't worry if you don't know what to say, I will reply with something fun. Do you want to leave a comment? It doesn't have to be a long one.