I have a motive for everything I do. Even the small, everyday things like getting out of bed - so I can eat breakfast - and brushing my teeth - so I never have to go back to HYDRA. I even have motivations for going for walks - because it is exercising and if I exercise it means I can have a cookie. (That is the only reason to exercise, no matter what everyone else tries to convince you of.)
I have always been asked Why. Ever since I was young - er. Why am I climbing that tree? Why am I pulling my shoes off and running out barefoot in the snow? Why am I eating jalapenos right out of the jar?
I've kind of reached the point where I'm no longer asked why. It is accepted that I'm just one of those people. Why do I plan world domination? Because I'm Jack. Why does my search record on my laptop have a list of Nazi torture methods? Because I'm Jack. Why do I slam doors? Because I'm Jack. That is just how I am now. I'm weird and everyone knows it and has either excepted it or moved to the other side of he globe to escape.
Sometimes though, I still get asked why. It always catches me off guard. "Why do you wear green boots?" "Why is there red string connecting all your notes on your board?" "Why do you read so many kid's books?" "Why do you carry a fork around in your bag with you all the time?" (To explain the fork, because it has little to do with the others, I carry it in the chance I might someday need to stab someone with it.)
My answer is always the same for most of these. "Because it's fun." And then I get the o.O look.
But the truth is, that is the reason and the only reason I do a lot of what I do.
Life isn't always fun, we all know this. It is hard and sad. We have bad days. We have bad weeks. Sometimes we have bad years. We lose friends, family members. We go through trails we think we might never make it out of. Pretending life is always happy won't fix any of this. We have to go through them.
But at the same time, life has happen moments. There are summer nights with fireflies and watermelon seeds. Winters of sitting snug in our warm homes while the wind howls outside. Long drives in the fall to look at the leaves changing colour. Flowers blooming in spring. Everywhere we look there is hints of happiness, reminders of God's love and care.
We forget to look though. We get busy, rushing from one thing to the next. There is food to shop for, jobs to go to, money to make, bills to pay. And all of that is important, but I don't believe it is as important as we make it to be.
That is why I put red string over my notes. Not because I had extra red string but because when I sit at my desk and write I can look up and pretend I have a SHIELD or detective board over my desk. I wear green boots so when I look at my feet I see a random splash of colour. I put bobby pins in my hat....well, partly for fun and partly so when HYDRA handcuffs me I can pick the lock.
Because my life is hard too, but I like to be reminded of fun and random things. Of possible adventures. That boots can be practical and fun. And I want someone to be able to look at me and smile. Everyone needs to smile more, and if I can make one person smile a day I have accomplished something at least.
We all need to have more fun in our lives. Never become so busy, either with work or looking at the gloomy sides of life, that you don't take a moment to chase fireflies, spit watermelon seeds at someone, wear red shoes, or plot how to escape kidnappers - only for the reason that it is fun.
Quote is from The Maze Runner. It is Newt and therefore a good quote because Newt is a cool character.