Wednesday, September 17, 2014

"Hello, hello, rubbish robots from the dawn of time."

 My boss was hired after me. (You know, my normal job boss. Because I'm not famous enough yet to live off my writing, so I have to have one of those normal jobs.) He moved up in rank fast. He has one of those personalities, were he can manage employees and they love him, sooth over grumpy costumer issues, and keep a cool head when we are slammed. He was perfect for the boss position and no one begrudged him it. But that has nothing to do with this story.

 I arrived at work one day feeling slightly out of sorts. I'd only been working for about six months or so and still was adjusting to being around people, and having to talk to them, so often. This was before I'd become good friends with my Mercenary Friend, so work was not something I jumped up and down over.

 When I walked in, I noticed two new employees, which was always good because we always seemed busy and short handed. One girl looked sweet and friendly the other had long blond hair and a face I couldn't help staring at, because she looked just like one of my dear friends. I was delighted.

 "This is going to be just like working with (I never use real names on here, so just go with this.)!" I thought to myself as I went to clock in. When I came back, I got to meet the two new employees.

 The blond head, who looked just like my dear friend, turned out not to be a she but a he. (And later became my boss.)

 Sometime passed. When boss became boss he often worked in drive through. I didn't hear most of the conversation of what happened next, just the tail end.

 A lady pulled up and ordered and somewhere during the conversation and getting her food she called Boss a girl. When she realized her mistake - or Boss said he was a boy, as I said I didn't hear all of it - the woman apologized over and over. Finally, before driving again, she tried to redeem her awkward situation by saying, "Well, you're too pretty to be a boy and too ugly to be a girl."

 Once she was gone, Boss related some of what happened, adding, "I don't know if I should be insulted or complimented."

 Meanwhile, Mercenary Friend was having a grand time with this and laughing his head off. (One reason Mercenary Friend and I got on so well, we both had wrapped senses of humor.)

 Giving it some more thought, Boss finally decided to take it as a compliment. "I guess it means I'm a pretty boy and not an ugly girl."

 I silently stood off to the side, not sure if I should join Mercenary Friend in laughing or duck behind something so Boss couldn't see my red face, because the only thing I could think to add was my first thoughts when I first saw Boss. (I didn't say anything about that, by the way.)

 And this is why I am quiet. I'm not shy so much as I don't want my first impressions and thoughts jumping out into the world and greeting people before I have a chance to make sure they're safe to be revealed.

 The End

 Quote is from 12 again. I'm tempted to use it when costumers come in to work.




  1. I absolutely love that quote! I WANT TO USE IT. *plots deviously* And this was quite a hilarious and awkward story. That lady sure had an interesting idea of smoothing over an embarrassing mistake. Um, really?! WAS it a compliment?! ;-) lol

  2. Funny you're not the only one to think your boss looks like a girl. Even when I had long hair, there was no doubt I was a dude.

  3. *snorts and laughs* XDDDDDDD I LOVE THIS. Hahaha. Wow. Way too funny.

    By the way, Jack, reading your book the second (devoured book the first in two days), Abolished Impracticality and I love it.

    I honestly think I am half in love with Shamus Steed.


    Okay done now.

  4. That is so hilarious! :)

    I kind of know what you mean. Half the time I'm quiet because I don't know who it's safe to share my thoughts with. Or sometimes I'm still working on whether or not what I think is accurate. I'm not exactly someone who's into broadcasting everything that goes on in my life. So when I talk to people, I usually talk to people who I know aren't going to spread what I say around, or I tell them something that I don't care if they share.

  5. Wow, hahahaha. Your boss sounds like a nice guy.
    I went on a hike a few weeks ago and we kept passing this dad with his two little boys (probably 4 and 2) and the third time we passed them, the older boy stared at me and declared, rather loudly, "That's a boy!" because of my short hair and the rather baggy t-shirt I was wearing that day. *facepalm* Anyway, I don't think I've worn a baggy t-shirt out of the house since then – and I've been wearing sparkly hairclips more often.


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