Sunday, September 28, 2014

"I'm gonna eat this, but I'm highly offended."

 My friend nicknamed me Jim from Treasure Planet.

 There is one part in the movie where Jim's mother is telling her friend how she misses little boy Jim - this is after older Jim gets into trouble with the law. She says something like, "I miss him coming into the house, carrying another injured animal, begging me to let him keep it."

 I was like that as a kid.

 Correction, I still am.

 I see an animal in pain or need and I feel it is my sole duty in life to save it.

 This isn't typically a problem. I found a gray kitten once, a tiny thing with its eyes just opened and no mummy in sight. So I took it in, feed it milk, kept it safe until I was able to take it to s shelter. (I'd have kept it but I wasn't in my own state and didn't think it would survive the long drive home.)

 Only Friday, a couple days ago, I found another lost kitten suffering pink eye. Again I felt the need to care for it as long as I could.

 Caring for kittens in need of food and a pet until you can find them a new home is fine. No one really gets mad at you for cuddling kittens for a couple days. No one complains about the loss of a cap full of milk. No one almost dies from kittens sleeping in your sleeping bag.

 It is when you get to cows that the need to save baby animals becomes a problem.

 Calves are bigger than kittens. Cows are bigger than calves.

 One day I was out trying to find adventure - this is when I was about ten or so - and I saw a calf stuck in a fence. It's mum was on one side and couldn't get it out and the little calf was mooing and sounded heart broken.

 I have sympathy and insisted my brothers help me free it.

 Mum cows don't understand that three kids trying to shove her calf means they wish to help, not hurt it. 

 The calf didn't understand this either, and mooed louder and in fear.

 Mum cow got mad and gave us that, "Oh, you're going down," look. 

 I knew we were in trouble.

 My brothers knew we were in trouble.

 The cow was the only one who felt she had a handle on the situation as she contemplated the best way to trample us.

 In the end - thankfully before the trampling - the cafe got itself free and scrambled home to mum. My brothers and I headed back to the safety of our own home, and I contemplated my animal saving mission in life and considering looking for a new outlet.

 And that is the reason my brothers refuse to go along with any of my plans.

 Quote is from The Lorax




  1. Is it a bird...? Is it a plane...? NO! It's Jack the Animal-Saver! Dun dun dun dun! To the rescue! *triumphant superhero music*

  2. I would've tried to help that cow as well. Can't stand to see animals suffer.

  3. As one who is rather indifferent to animals (although I do have a soul, evidenced by my love for little children), I still found this dreadfully funny. I wish I could have been there.

  4. Ah, I completely understand your animal saving problem. I once took in a pitiful dog only to find out that it was my neighbors dog that they OBVIOUSLY didn't take good care, yes, I understand :)

    Your Jefferson pic is awesome, btw!

  5. ~awww Jack youre so kind!! :) i love animals too bt lookin after them(being responsible for another life) scares me a little :)

    Ps u spelt calf as cafe in the last paragraph haha

  6. Hi Jack! *Waves wildly!*

    That is an adorable story. And for some reason, sort of hilarious too. Nobody can give the stink eye like a Mummy cow. Nobody. .....You could have died. Just saying. :) But what sort of person just leaves a little calf stuck in a fence?



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