Tuesday, January 13, 2015

"Oh shut up. And buy your kids a puppy."

 I have a confession to make

 In real life I'm known for doing stupid things. Stupid things that get me hurt.

 I once jump roped on the railing of a flat bed trailer and - naturally - slipped off. I almost walked in front of a pistol seconds before it was shot. I climbed up a cliff I knew I couldn't make it up and slipped and fell about twelve feet - maybe that doesn't sound high, but I ended up landing on a small rock. Had I fallen further left I'd have dropped about thirty or so feet. Had I gone further right I'd have landed on a sharp, pointed rock. I jumped off a fence once right onto a rusted nail. Tried to catch a semi-wild cat for a friend and got my hand chewed on. Got bit by a dog when I was trying to get a baby's ball away from it so it wouldn't bite the baby. I walk on the ice and I've fallen in twice. I jump barbed wire fences and always come away with new cuts from it.
 There is only one person I know who does things stupider than me. And I think I might have beaten him the other night.

 I said that one of my New Year's Goals was to make it through 2015 in better health and less pain. As I said, I didn't think this would be a hard feat. Two days into the New Year I caught a fever, which has turned into a week long cold. (Not as bad as pneumonia though.)

 I also said I didn't think I'd be fine making it through 15 in less pain since my wisdom teeth are already out and that was the worst pain I've ever been in in my life.

 Well, I take that goal back. Because it has already proven me wrong and I don't want to end up breaking every bone in my body.

 Friday night I was working on cutting pieces out for a dollhouse I'm making. They are bitty pieces which have to be carefully cut out with a knife. I have plenty of pocket knives but was using a dull kitchen one which wasn't being any help.

 When my dad saw my feeble attempts with a blunt blade he let me use his brand new knife. Amazingly sharp because he hadn't used them yet.

 Pleased I set to work. I slowly and gently cut into the piece I was working on, shaving off and then gently pressing the knife down to ease it out without breaking the little wall.

 Did I mention I had the whole thing setting on my leg? Well, yes, let me throw that in.

 Somehow, as I pushed, the piece slipped out. I didn't realize I was pressing down hard enough, but the knife slipped, straight down into my leg.

 I didn't even realize I'd been stabbed until I noticed a nice, thin cut. When I saw it was bleeding I dashed to the bathroom and began cleaning it up. The cut didn't look bad. Half an inch long and a clean slice.

 That was until it didn't stop bleeding. I think I sat there for about fifteen minutes putting pressure on it before I realized something was wrong.

 It took my dad coming in and helping me wrap my leg before I realized how badly I'd stabbed myself. When the shock wore off and I was able to get a good look at the knife I saw the blade had gone in nearly an inch deep.

 My dad nearly took me in for stitches. I think he was about to throw me in the car when we got the bleeding to stop. However, when we later changed the wrapping it started up again.

 I hate needles and the thought of stitches made me feel fainter then the stab wound and blood loss.

 Thankfully, God spared me and by the next morning the wound had healed considerably. 

 And that is my story of why I've been limping all weekend. The worst part is is I have handled knives since I was really small. I KNOW not to cut toward myself. (Plus, I was once made an honorary Boy Scout and that's one of the first things they teach.) 

 But if the wound wasn't enough to teach me a lesson the humility I've gained in having to tell concerned friends why I'm limping is. 

 So now you know why I'm not going to try and make it through this year without pain and sickness. Whenever you  make a goal like that and it backfires right into it best to call it quits.

 In other news, I nearly have the third Haphazard book completed!!

 Now I'm going to bed.

 Quote is from Flushed Away.




  1. Ouch! I hope it heals quickly!

  2. Oh ... Jack ... I'm really not sure what to say. I hope it heals quickly? Remember not to cut towards yourself next time?

    (And I've done some pretty stupid things myself. Cutting my finger with scissors. trying to help a gosling and getting bit by the overprotective parent. Running into cabinets. I run into things a lot. Because I run a lot. And I don't wear shoes very often, so I frequently stub my toe. But ... I do have a high respect for knives ... so I'm quite certain I've never done something like that. Ouch.)

  3. Ouch. Hope it heals soon.

    I got stitches once when I was three on our doctor's kitchen table. All I did was slip and hit my chin on the bathroom floor. The ER was too crowded. It was a Sunday night and our doctor was coming back from vacation (I think). He had the ability and the tools to sew me up, so he did. I don't remember it being too big a deal. Now, getting them out, however...

  4. Ouch. Sounds like you should take a break from walking...now you have more time to work on BROTHERS-IN-ARMS!! :D

  5. Lollll. I'm a bad friend to go, "hehe, Jack hurt herself. Hehe." But really, honorary boy scouts should know better XD

    1. Ps. I'm singing that "do you want to leave a comment" now. Thanks for that

  6. While reading this I alternated between sucking in my breath and going, "Oooooooh ouuuuuuch," sympathetically and going, "Hehehe" rather like Treskie. XD

    But look at the bright side. You now know how it feels to have a legit stab wound in your leg. Life experience helps writing. (This is what I have to say to get me through less than comfortable experiences. Like wisdom teeth. Because otherwise I wouldn't know how being drugged up felt like, or the feeling of trying to eat homemade Arby's when you're only supposed to eat sorbet. Because I totally need to write that at some point. XD)

  7. Ooooh Ouch, Jack! i hope you feel better soon!

  8. YOU HAVE TO TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF JIM!!!! Stop being so delightfully violent!

    is Flushed Away good? I've been told i should watch it but it sounded kind of silly.

  9. Ayiyi!!!!! Take care of yourself and heal up soon!!

  10. Ouch!

    I can relate with the mishaps. Such as riding a bike into an electric fence, jumping off a semi load of wood shavings onto a pitchfork, and breaking a sledgehammer, which sent a chuck of wood through and throw my finger...oh, and almost hanging myself. I hope these events don't find me in adulthood nor attach themselves to my kiddos. Yikes!


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