Tuesday, July 28, 2015

 I don't really know how to begin this post.

 I've off and on mentioned my writing this past month and how I've taken a break from it for a bit. Or maybe just hinted at it. I've not really wanted to talk about writing on here but I feel as if I've left everyone hanging. So I am going to try and explain what will be happening as far as writing goes for the near forseeable future.

 Most of my books I've connected in one way or another to my friend who died. Because of that I've not really been able to work on any of the projects I'd planned on accomplishing this year. Every time I think of opening the books I almost start crying.

 I had a lot of things planned for this year. I was going to finish the third Haphazard book and publish it. I always also going to finish the Blade books and publish the first book as well as the third and final Loyalty book. I was going to come up with a better marketing plan and move things forward as far as my writing went.

 I had a list worked out of what I would write and edit every month, and I'd made really good progress until last month.

 Since June I've been spending most of my time reading. I've read a ton of books, which has helped me keep my mind on other things. Not that I don't want to think about my friend. I think about her every day and I miss her every day. I've never lost anyone I've been close to before and I am having trouble dealing with this. Sometimes I close myself off and other times I start to sob in front of my friends.

 One friend, after I explained some of this to her and some of my problems with writing, told me I need to give myself time to grieve and heal. It has only been a month - I guess nearly two - but I can't expect to just get back into all the daily activities I was doing before. Her death has changed everything in my life right now. (Her death and various other things.) This year has been the hardest in my life so far, and I'm only half way through it.

 Basically, right now, I simply can't work on any of the books I was writing while my friend was alive. And there are days when I can't write at all. I need to take time, give myself a chance to work through all of this. Her death and a huge pile of other things.

 I've decided to put off all of the books I've been talking about on here. I can't even look at the Blade books right now, and because of things which happen in the third Haphazard book I can't open it. I may start work on the last Loyalty book and edit it but I'm not sure about that.

 I thought of taking a break from writing all together, but that didn't work out either. I still love writing, and it is a way to help me keep busy and I feel as if I'm accomplishing something as I write. Therefore, I decided I would begin a series of books I had a slim idea for but hadn't been working on at all until the end of last week. I might even talk a little about this new series on here, or I might hold off.

 The reason I might wait to talk about it involves the email which should be here this week. (I've gotten to the point where I check my Inbox every ten minutes or so.)

 I do want to thank everyone who has offered support through this. Every email I get, or comment, or just inquiry of how I am doing means a lot to me.

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5 comments :

  1. Your friend is right. You need to give yourself time to grieve. The writing will come again. Just be gentle with yourself.

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  2. Here for you, Jack. Take all the time you need. Can't wait to hear more about this mysterious email you're waiting for... my thoughts and prayers are with you as you grieve the loss of your friend. It won't ever stop hurting, but that hurt will gradually become less... and that won't mean that you're forgetting or dishonoring her memory, it just means that life does go on, eventually, and that God is good. Time may not heal all hurts, but it does allow the wounds to close. Maybe that sounds trite or something, but it's meant in all sincerity. Love ya!

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  3. Your stories can wait, and they'll be all the better for it. I like the idea of a separate writing project to express into while you heal. And I'm excited for your email. I understand the every-ten-minutes. I was like that with a contest last year.
    Thinking of you!

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  4. I am so sorry you've had such a hard time. Taking a break away from writing and stress is wonderful advice. Don't feel pressured to keep writing when you can't. We all understand and are here for you. Take a break, read all you want, don't add anymore stress on yourself. Just relax and heal.

    You're always in my prayers, sweet girl. *hugs*

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