Thursday, October 25, 2018

"Ohana means family."

Wherein Jack has returned.

At this point me going AWOL is no shock. Maybe it is somewhat expected that one day soon I'll vanish all together. Each time I attempt to stay about more something happens which causes me to get again disappear. October was no different.

What happened is not something I can talk about as it is not directly related to me and therefore not something I can just reveal. Just know it was tragic and myself and those involved need tons of prayer at this time.

I don't even know how to put into words what I'm going through right now. When I lost my dead friend I didn't think anything could hurt as much as her death. This tragedy though has opened up old wounds and left me feeling confused and drained. And I often feel I have no right to feel this way or feel sorrow, again because it is not a personal tradedy.

I've kept myself busy through this, my default fall back when I don't know how to deal with something. I have been writing as a result and feel my three year block might at last be fading. I've also been reading a ton more than I have since first moving from home. Because of writing and reading and the release of my novella I feel it's time to begin marketing once again. After all, I'm still here. Still alive. Still have things to do.

It's hard to accept sometimes how I at least forget to fully live until something terrible happens to remind me how valuable each day is. This is also something I've been trying to understand, about myself and those around me.

This rambling probably makes little sense. I guess by all this I mean to say, without trying to sound even odder, there's a lot about myself I need to learn. Because I bottle things up, put my head down, and just charge ahead I've never taken the time to work any of it out. Because of what happened it was like a blow to the chest and I'm starting to slow down and try to understand.

Writing has been helping me to understand myself better and it has been a good outlet for me these past two weeks.

Please keep my dear friends in prayer as their lives have been changed and they have to now learn how to deal and move forward with these changes.

Also I will try to make more appearances about here. So talk to you all soon.

7 comments :

  1. Oh, Jack, I am so, SO sorry you're dealing with another tragedy. This absolutely breaks my heart. I will of course be praying for you and all the loved ones this is affecting. And don't worry about being absent when you need to be. Just take care of yourself okay? *HUGS*

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  2. I'm sorry. I will lift you up in prayer.

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  3. SO sorry for you and your friends. Losing a dear one is always tragic. Keep writing and reading. It does help at times like these. Praying for you all....

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  4. So sorry to hear about all of this, and pray that God will comfort your open wounds as he also heals your hurting friends.

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  5. Oh, my dear, I know what it's like to be on the edge of a tragedy like that. I will remember you and your people in my prayers.

    https://ofdreamsandswords.wordpress.com

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